Believe it or NOT

Sooo-what happens when one of the Blistered Sisters misses a hike? 

A big fat nothing. 

Clarification: When one of the Sisters who is responsible for Eight Boots on Bruce (its prompt postings, clever running commentary on the adventures of the Sisterhood and a large number of its tres bonnes photos), misses a hike because of the wedding of a daughter, the OTHER SISTAHS are supposed to step in and step up and keep notes and take pictures.

Which they sort of said they did but didn't really. 

So then what happens? Well--that RESPONSIBLE Sistah DOES step in and step up, retraces their steps and makes %@#%+* up. Just like she warned them she would do.

(Note: You may need a FactoMeter to assess the validity of the following account of Did Any of This Really Happen?.)

Castle Glen Estates to Loree ForestDistance: 14 km (this distance and location is true)

The day started out oddly. Although the Sisters were all in good form, K noticed immediately that the other three have begun to dress inappropriately for hiking. S for example, insisted on wearing a two-piece bathing suit all day, every day. L now seems to be sporting the latest in life-coach ensemblery, complete with heels and purple stockings. D was back in her Sound of Music hat but without the pearl drop- earrings.

 K, it seems,  has become the only "normal" one in their midst. How did that even happen?

Still, the trail was pretty, winding through gorgeous forest, along wide cross-country ski trails, beside rambling streams and along the top of the escarpment.

K chose mostly to ignore the others, walking meditatively in silence and enjoying nature and the views.

When S spotted a stream, she wanted to stay a while to catch some rays. K held her tongue and said nothing...

And while D and L waited, they foolishly thought they would try their luck at log-rolling and of course this happened...

 Meanwhile K waited, bored and somewhat impatiently, in the forest, with a passing dire wolf that she hoped belonged to a nearby John Snow.

Not long after, K ran into a Handsome Man on the trail. Not John Snow but pretty devilishly cute nevertheless. He undressed her with his eyes and then immediately proposed marriage. K shrugged and accepted, figuring that whatever his Chronic Vision Impairment was, it could be usefully flattering for her in years to come. And anyway, he had the two dire wolves, so they headed off together, hand in hand, into the swirling forest mists.*

 


Notes: 
K was kinda wishing she had worn her diaphanous gown. (See photos above from last Christmas morning.)
*Also--it wasn't really swirly and misty.

Meanwhile, the others were starting to feel the pain of hiking in their inappropriate garb and begged the Handsome Man to hitch a ride. And he kindly obliged.

And where is L? Drying her hair we think. 

 S asked L 1,697 times what town this is. For the record, it is Collingwood. At a certain point, L refused to answer anymore.

The requisite "giant chair"  photo of The Blistered Sisters. A few passersby gave us odd looks. Probably because of the strange hiking attire of the three...

When the Sistahs saw the trees laden with apples, they all clamored for a picking. So we did. S got some narsty scratches and no sympathy.

And then D spotted the mushrooms. She pretended to play them like bongos but we actually saw her furtively nibbling the undersides, although she later denied this vehemently.

K kept smiling and trying to be patient.But inwardly she was swearin' up a storm and dropping f-bombs all along the foresty paths. The dire wolf was annoyed too.

Pretty River Valley Conservation Area
and Loree Forest 
Distance: 18 km (this distance and these locations are also accurate)
These two sections are areas of great beauty. Tall trees and leaf-strewn pathways, with numerous meandering sidetrails. At Pretty River, if one hikes a solid mix of the Bruce Trail, the John Haigh Sidetrail and the Pretty River Side Trail, it forms a nice ten-kilometer loop. There are babbling brooks to lunch by and stunning hardwood forest to breathe in and feast ones eyes upon. AND the HIGHEST POINT of the Bruce Trail (at 540 metres) is here!!. Further north and a bit west, the Loree Forest offers beautiful views of Georgian Bay and a pleasant circular forest loop. And lots of Poison Ivy to be aware of!

The Handsome Man and K are getting along famously.

One of the babbling brooks. Note K's neck skin and why it's good that the Handsome Man has impaired vision. Turkey Vulture anyone?

 

 And then wouldn't ya just know it, THIS had to happen....

 And who wasn't paaayyyyying attttttentiiion?

 Our own Screaming Banshees of course!!!! 

They weren't even LOOKING, so consumed were they with 

a) tanning and

 b) metaphors.  

As usual, the Princess Warriors had to come to the rescue, racing silently through the ferns and brandishing sticks and other weaponry.  One of them, in the ensuing battle, took one for the team.

When everyone had recovered from the trauma of this encounter, the Sisters took a cleansing swim and then a few pics at the Highest Point.

Note that body language reveals a certain amount of PTSD. (But nothing a White Russian can't fix, said D.)

The Blistered Sisters at the Highest Point.
Of note:Pretty sure there are many multitudes of men that would pay gooooood money to be in D's place right now.

Osler Bluff
6 km(also true)
Osler Bluff sits high on the escarpment slightly west of Collingwood and just north of the Pretty River Valley Conservation Area. Here you get sweeping vistas down the ski runs towards Georgian Bay, and can see the lighthouse and pier and a town in the distance that miiiight be Collingwood. Small planes and helicopters from the tiny Collingwood airport pass by and one can look DOWN on them from the heights. 

The escarpment is startlingly similar to what we have seen 600 kms south in the Niagara Falls area. Which is probably why it's called the Niagara Escarpment, even up here! Lots of big crevasses, moss covered rocks, and lovely forest.

The Sistahs insisted on being carried by the Handsome Man this entire stretch and did not reveal themselves once, even for a peek at the magnificent fall foliage colours. 

And K got a bit of a shock when the Handsome Man revealed to her in a moment of quiet conversation that he was a GRANDFATHER! WTF? A Grandfather?

Ah well, he's still pretty cute in spite of his grandfatherly age.

Note: If you liked this section of the blog, you'll may also like the actual entry of 
What Really Happened. 

But don't hold your breath waiting. It could be a while....